Pivot!

It is a snow day. The first real snow day in several years. I am currently sitting in conflict and paralysis, as we have another day off from school and all of my people are home. I am trying to compartmentalize my annoyance at yet another pivot. Anyone else fresh out of pivots? I mentally wasn't prepared to make breakfast today, or play another round of Scrabble, or hang up snowy wet clothes to dry. Life tends to all be about expectations, yes? I stuff my annoyance down and pick up my phone to numb out- a scrolling medicator which inevitably leads to overthinking. As most accounts I follow are parenting and/or child psychology related, I read (@caringparent) that the biggest predictor of anxiety in children later in life is being raised by a hurried parent. I pause and reflect on my daily schedule, as well as my children'. How often does adrenaline, fight or flight, hyper arousal become my norm? And how often does this type of Instagram wisdom become one more directive on our to do list, adding to the guilt? Slow down. Check. Be present. Check. I then read that the U.S. Surgeon General issued a Parting Prescription for America, recommending a cultural shift to recenter our lives around relationships, purpose, and service. Hmm... OK. Schedule play date. Check. Ask a friend for coffee. Check. Have I signed us up for a food drive? Check. Did I spend enough time chatting with my neighbor when getting out of the car? Check. Oh wait, and I should probably put away the "Christmas pile." You know the one, that is sitting in the corner of the room. Check. Whew. Anyone else tired?

I readily admit I don't have the answer. Other than to look for the "thing behind the thing." You know the one. The "do I matter" message and the "am I good enough" message? With or without a hurried day. With or without that planned play date. In the therapy room, we discuss the steps of the worry loop and how to disengage from the spiral. Step 1: The “What If” question that starts the spiral in our brain. Step 2: Our body’s reaction to the anxiety building inside: sweaty palms, stomach hurting, headache. Step 3 often becomes distraction, a temporary solution. However, when trying to break the worry loop, step 3 becomes: What would the truth be and what could our self-talk be to counter the "What if" question? The truth is that life is hard, that you are doing hard things, and sometimes it feels like too much to check off the list. The truth is that you are good enough with or without a list. 

Last month we celebrated being one of the top three Mental Health Practices in the Triangle. We express our gratitude for your recognition as leaders of change, feel honored to be part of the community of emotional healing, and we look forward to continuing our work with Raleigh, NC area families. We know we can't be effective helpers without doing our own work, and as we continue our mission of meeting the mental health needs across the lifespan, from offering play therapy at 3 years old, psychological evaluations for those in elementary school, family therapy and trauma work, college aged executive functioning and career coaching, parenting workshops in adulthood, and individual therapy for the middle space on the developmental timeline, our hope is that you feel our support in your season of life. Which reminds me: adding "schedule call with Birch Therapy" to my to do list. Check.